Thursday, March 18, 2010

The house by the sea

"We will take it." he said.
Of course, it was beautiful. I had nothing to complain about. In a world where everyone has to fight for just a bit of the ailing earth, a breath of the rancid air, a glimpse of the decaying sea and a piece of the pallid sky, this was ours to have.

I walked out to the balcony. I could see him. Not a flimsy streak of grey-blue somewhere in the distance, not a thin line of poisonous blood seeping through a slash in the city's concrete body, not a borrowed view as I walked down a crowded boulevard. He was all mine. My own to behold, to paint, to capture. The sea, my new moody neighbour.

His reputation travels before him. They say, at times he roars and rants. He starts quarreling absurdly with the sky, lashing out at the onlooking boulders without a reason, turning violent. You wouldn't want to catch him on a bad day. He can be rude and impudent, uncaring and insensitive. A madman angry with the world.

But they also say that on some evenings he sits back and plays the violin. The music is serene and mystical, gentle enough to lull you to sleep, sweet enough to keep your dreams beautiful. The notes make the sky blush and even the wind becomes a gently whispering, shy breeze. He can be a real charmer when he wants to. He can draw you in and keep you away from the world for as long as he wants. The magic of his deep voice, the flamboyant blues and greens of his being, the enigma of his hidden secrets, all weave their inescapable web around you and you forget your very essence.

Today, as I stand on the balcony like a lonely princess trapped in a tower, he seems to be in a mood for love. I smile and look away. I look away and look upon reality. I look upon an empty house. White walls, closed doors and rooms filled with nothingness. We will colour the walls. Autumn reds, spring greens, morning blues and midnight silver. We will unlock the doors. We will fill the rooms with idiosyncrasies, quarrels and mundane madness of life. But yet it will remain forever empty. Because what could have filled it is gone. Banished. Exiled. Locked away. Forgotten. Dead?

I look at my husband. He seems happy. The house is lovely. We are going to live here. We are going to live here, I repeat to myself. Our separate lives in our separate corners. Faces to the coloured walls, backs to the unlocked doors, in rooms filled with so much unnecessary baggage that there is no room for anything else. We are going to live here, forever.

Suddenly the walls seem to close in. I gasp and try to breath. I feel dizzy as I stumble back on to the balcony. My neighbour whispers sweet nothings and his voice calms me down. The wind caresses my face and I take deep breaths. I feel his voice getting louder, the wind getting stronger. Louder and stronger, louder and stronger. I feel the roar in my ears. I feel the rush in my body. I feel him. His binding embrace, his deep kiss. I feel all, I feel nothing.

11 comments:

Divya Menon said...

Before i write anything else... what brought this on..?

niv said...

just generally... don't worry... i am not suicidal... hehe

Chandni said...

The best part about the sea's strength is that it doesn't have to display it. Even the still sea holds the promise of a pending storm. Ok I am so not properly describing what I want to say :|

niv said...

@chandni: hmm... well... but i understand what you mean... :)

niv said...

@divya: well ...actually on a more serious note...i was just wondering about loneliness... how far will you go to cure it? who will become your confidant when you have none...who will be your lover when all you have is you...when the chances have been left behind...when age has caught up...when there is nothing holding you back and everything pushing you over the world's edge...what does one do then...what do you do when you are that lonely...

Chandni said...

i am all for clean minimal templates :)

niv said...

@chandni: I know... that template was nice but only a clean white layout makes it feel like my blog..after all it's all about the words :)

swarnima said...

hey..i read d story...d personification of the sea is beautiful and the vivid imagery used pleases the mind...however if on any note this extract is personal,then there's one thing- the sea might appear lonely but it hosts a huge ocean of marine life..:)

niv said...

swarnima: thanks.. and no... not personal per say :)

Anshul Kosarwal said...

nicely compiled..!!

niv said...

@anshul: hey. thanks :)